Dear Webster

It is 2011, and wifi is a necessity now.... So BYU, with your motto of "enter to learn, go forth to serve".... It is hard to learn when I am technologically limited. I am using an Ethernet cord in my room, which does not work 90% of the time. On campus, I have such limited Internet access that it would be faster to do things the old fashioned way, and actually "Ask Webster". So Webster, I am asking you this, why oh why is the Internet so bad in Utah? My grandma even has wifi in her house. Now granted, she didn't know this until we told her, so she still doesn't know the password, but still. Get with the times!

And Webster, answer me this. Why do people leave their laundry in the machines for hours on end, knowing there are only 6 machines for a dorm of about 200 girls? The timid girls keep coming back throughout the day, upset to see the laundry just sitting there still. So thank you, Texas, for raising us girls to be assertive and get things done! I don't sit around and wait, I just take their laundry out and move it, putting my own in there instead. Upset? Then simply be proactive and get your laundry out on time, rather than waste precious space and time!

Why is it that you always seem to run into people you wish you could avoid? There are people I have met that are absolutely hilarious! But I have only seen them once, maybe twice. Then there are those people that I have met, and regretted it. And I see them everywhere!! Getting out my laundry, going to the vending machines (which I finally found), on my way to the Cannon center (only to find it closed), in class, EVERYWHERE!

It doesn't help that I go to bed so late now... At home I used to panic a little if I went to bed after 9. I was nicknamed "grandma", because I could be in bed by 8... Here, I don't think I've gone to bed before midnight! This has not helped my sarcastic behavior... Sleep does wonders for people with snarky comments like me.... Today I was asked, because I live in Texas, if I knew the Johnsons.

Really? Texas has nearly 25 million people...... Of course I know the Johnsons, doesn't everyone else in America? And to the other kid who asked me a few weeks ago, yes! I know the Smiths too!!! Isn't Texas great? Everyone seems to know everyone.

And if you don't, just pull up your wifi back at home, and you'll be sure to find one. Until then, I'll just keep asking Webster.

You can take the girl out of Texas, but you can't take Texas out of the girl

July 14, 2011
Ok Mom, the Texas Tales begin now, and I'll summarize the first few weeks at BYU. Living in the dorms is nice, I don't have to clean my toilet or shower... Not that I really did it back home anyway...

The downside? The cleaning people shut down the bathrooms in the morning. Not at five in the morning, at 9:30 in the morning. You know, when everyone is trying to get to class.

Here, I am known as the Texas girl. I don't know why, maybe it's the huge Texas flag in my window. Or maybe it's the millions of Texas shirts. Or maybe it's the accent and words like 'yall'. Or maybe it's the fact that I apologize to people when they say where their from. "Hey, I'm from California!". "I'm sorry.... I'm from Texas". The other day I was joking around and said "I hate yall!". To which someone replied, "who's yall?" These poor people need to get out more. Texas is the best state ever. Why? We have TexMex! It's true, everything is bigger in Texas. Our parking lines actually are the length of the car (if not longer). And our sidewalks are even bigger! The ones here in Utah are too skinny for comfort.

The worst part of college? The cheap toilet paper. I never realized how charming Charmin was... My poor behind misses 'expensive' toilet paper. Actually no, it just misses toilet paper in general. Sand paper at this point would be a better choice that what they're offering me.

The first few weeks, I was STARVING all the time. I was so hungry, but couldn't find the vending machines anywhere. And now that I've found them, I'm so tired of vending machines! We have the Cannon Center, but nothing beats a home cooked meal... Plus the Cannon center has weird hours. Are you hungry for breakfast? It's closed. Are you hungry for lunch? It's closed. Are you hungry for dinner? It's closed.

On the rare occasions that it's open and I go, it becomes a guessing game. No one knows what it is, so we get a plate or two, then make bets of what will be inside. The other day was chicken pot pie. At home it wouldn't be questionable, but it looked more like a calzone-type mystery meal, so we just got a salad instead.

Whoever invented Freshman 15 obviously hasn't been to college, or they went to college with a car and LOTS of parking space. Because I walk everywhere... I might join a power walking team, I'm getting so good at it. The downside to walking all the time, is that I'm now hungry all the time. Good thing the Cannon center isn't open!

I love being in the library, or just walking on campus, and the first place the boys look isn't your eyes. Or your butt. Or even your chest. It's your left ring finger. When nothing is there, their eyes light up and they approach you. I'm always quick to remind them I could be their younger sister, and that I'm not 18, so I could take them to court. I might use that excuse for a year or two more, it seems to be working for me... I'm not engaged yet!

And now it's time for class, the reason I'm here. The air conditioning in my Book of Mormon class is broken, but I can't even wear Nike shorts to class. And I still can't get into the shorts-to-my-knee thing... There was a link on my homepage the other day, and it was the worst dressed cities in America. Number 15... Provo, Utah. Congratulations fellow Mormons, we did it!